the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
