my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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