Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize