The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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