i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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