guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
