Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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