how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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