watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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