If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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