i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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