Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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