jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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