Umm I'm too high to move.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
