Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
