You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
