hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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