I wish i was in the wii world.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
