k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
