Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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