I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
