I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We left the knife in your bed.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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