the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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