Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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