NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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