I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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