Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Houston, we have a blender
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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