His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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