I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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