dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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