you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
