Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
