The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
