I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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