But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
