Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
