Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
