it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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