I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
