So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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