thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize