I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
