After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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