It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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