Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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