So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
