Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
