So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
