im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
