my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
