im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
