Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
