We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize