No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
