hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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