I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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