ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
They should really pass out barf bags in church
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
