i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
