just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
where does the pee come out of this thing
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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