Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
