i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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