I didn't shave. On purpose
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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