Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
pray to the hookup gods
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
