Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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