theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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