So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
me + whiskey = a bad person
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
