allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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