Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She's the barista slut.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
